[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What's it gonna be?
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What's it gonna be?

[Verse 1: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Life is footy
We're all in tribes
But who ya gonna go for
When you hate both sides?

[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What's it gonna be?
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What's it gonna be?

[Verse 2: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
I hate the righteous
I hate the sleaze
It's Hitler v Stalin
Man U or Man C

[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks
It's cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks
Cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks
It's cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks

[Post-Chorus: Ron Hitler-Barassi & Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts versus cunts
Pricks versus pricks
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?
It's cunts versus cunts
Pricks versus pricks
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?
It's cunts versus cunts (It's cunts v cunts)
Pricks versus pricks (It's pricks v pricks)
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?
It's cunts versus cunts (What's it gonna be?)
Pricks versus pricks
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?

[Verse 3: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Everyone is screaming at me
But no-one listens
Arе you therapist, or rapist?
TISM versus TISM

[Bridge: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's pricks or pricks
Arseholеs or arseholes
Fuckwits or fuckwits
It's cunts or cunts

[Verse 4: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's Kim versus Kanye
Idi Amin versus Mugabe
It's dickhead versus cock
It's Will Smith versus Chris Rock
It's motorist v cyclist
It's attack versus defence
It's boss versus union
Influence or influenced
Are you yob, or are you wanker?
Are you rockstar, or critic?
Will you burn, or will you drown?
Strychnine versus arsenic

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus dicks

[Verse 5: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's Humphrey versus Ron
It's Jock versus Euge
It's Les versus Jon
It's you versus you
It's lyrics versus meaning
It's rock versus roll
It's world versus existence
It's God versus the soul

[Outro: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
I hate you
And you as well
Don't take offence
It's only personal